To move in together or not move in together, that is the age old question. It’s a complex topic, if you move in too soon or for the wrong reasons it could ruin your relationship.
But living together can also be cost effective, fun and convenient. So how do you know when it’s the right time to do so? It can be a difficult choice, so here are some tips to help you decide if you’re ready to share a closet space.
How well you know each other
Don’t take a play from the romantic comedy book by moving in with someone you just met. If you move in with someone that you’ve only known for 3 weeks then do you really know each other? At the beginning of relationships we often put our partners on a pedestal which blind us from their imperfections. A successful commitment requires that you know what you are getting yourself into, which takes time.
If you’re looking for a time frame, you should wait a minimum of six months to a year. Basically, it’s however long it takes for you two to get over the honeymoon period. To help you decide, have discussions about each other’s aspirations, needs, values and backgrounds. Knowing these can foster closeness and help you determine if cohabitating is an option.
Go on a weeklong vacation together Do you still enjoy each other’s company when you’re sun burnt and hung over? Going on a weeklong vacation can help you determine whether or not your relationship is move-in worthy. Living together requires that you make many joint decisions on topics such as dividing of chores and finances. A holiday trip helps you test these same skills but on a smaller scale.
Making choices together, dealing with unforeseen changes and agreeing on which of you pays for what can help you determine if you can make decisions on larger issues, such as on rent and utility bills. If you not only handle these but are able to spend time together 24/7 then you’ll have an idea of what it’s like to live in a shared space.
You already spend most of your weeks together Do you have a key for his place? Have your toiletries in his cabinet? Have a drawer with your clothes? If you already spend five to six nights of the week at each other’s place, you’ll already have an idea of what it’s like to live together. So it will be more of a natural transition as you’ll be going in with real expectations.
You won’t fight as much because you already know that he doesn’t use the laundry basket, has morning breath and hates doing the dishes. Basically you’ll be completely comfortable with each other’s habits, whether their good or bad.
It’s not an easy decision to make, so use these tips to help you chose whether or not your relationship is at a point where it can handle sharing a space together.