It’s not unusual nowadays that a conversation with family or friends can lead into a discussion about your child’s behaviour and the common question; “What are we doing to our children?”
Most parents are spoiling their children and don’t even know they are and others just don’t know how to avoid it.
Spoiling your child is over indulging the child with material possessions and emotional attachment which can produce behaviour that is completely self-centred. The good news is that you can still curb this behaviour. It’s never too late.
To combat certain behaviour, you first have to identify it and listed below are certain signs highlighting that you are raising a spoilt child:
1. Constantly complaining and moaning in hopes that they’ll get their own way.
2. Easily dismisses your requests and refuses to do chores until you have to beg or bribe.
3. Expecting rewards without doing anything to deserve them
4. Refusing to be alone, exhibiting the utmost clingy behaviour (predominantly in younger children)
5. When your child controls you and there is confusion who is adult and who is child.
6. Demand that you do a certain task when it can be easily done by your child.
These are basic signs that your child is spoilt and now you can learn how to reverse this, starting now.
• Commitment: Learning to un-spoil your child is a new journey and challenge that requires full commitment or else you’ll find yourself stranded and helpless.
• Firm: Be firm. Say it once and expect your instructions to be carried out. Do not go back on your word nor the consequences or rules. Try not to continually over explain what you expect from your child as this will exhaust not only you but also your child, causing you to give up.
• No: When your child nags, whines and embarrasses you in public to get what they want, learn to say no. You will be tried and tested endlessly but eventually they will get the message as you will have set the parameters.
• Praise: If you give your child a word of praise for doing a certain chore, this motivates them to do it again and fosters a work ethic.
• Temper: Attempt to never lose your temper in front of your kids as this models their own behaviour.
Learning to un-spoil your child doesn’t mean enforcing a strict and tyrant style of parenting, it’s about you as a parent obtaining charge of your family and not allowing your child to control you. Once again, it’s never too late.
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