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Does Your Relationship Change Who You Are?

Relationships

The biggest mistake is giving too much of yourself in a relationship and letting it change you. Relationships are meant to help you grow, not change you to a point where you can no longer identify yourself.

Do not insist on being the pleasing type in your relationship as it may be taken for granted. Though relationships are a partnership this does not mean that you cannot embrace your individuality. This is why it is particularly important for one to have a relationship with yourself before you can love another. Love is very powerful as it can overwhelm you and consume you positively and negatively depending on how you react to it.

When in a relationship it is not the time to find you, but merely to love another without losing yourself.

If you feel like your relationship is suffocating you, then that is when you know that you need to time to yourself.

Here are a few tips on how not to lose yourself in your relationship:

1. Make time for friends: Often friends are neglected especially when the relationship is new. This is understandable as all that new lovers want to do is be with each other all the time.

2. Make time for family: Your family should never come second best to your relationship. A balance needs to be established as these are the people who will comfort you even when you neglect them.

3. Make time for yourself: Be independent and find a hobby that does not involve your partner. This will help you grow as a person as well as in your relationship. It may seem rather odd but sometimes even lovers need a holiday from each other. As the saying goes “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

This does not mean that you no longer love your partner but it means that you love them enough to sometimes be by yourself. This needs to be communicated in such a way that the other party does not feel neglected.

Nurse each other’s feelings without compromising yourself. At times you will have to be selfish . . . . just sometimes.

Sinesipho Mbandazayo

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