Sometimes it can be very difficult to let go of someone even when you know that your relationship with them is just not working. You may feel that you depend on them or that they need you too much or any other reason to rationalise your choice to stay. But this will not make either of you happy. Here are 5 signs that show that your relationship is over:
Related article: 5 Signs He Might Be Cheating
There is barely any effort
Love is a two way street, as they say and if either or both of you stop making an effort, the relationship will not survive. You used to call each other every day and send “I miss you” texts throughout the day. But now, you can barely ask how his day went. There is a growing distance between the two of you and you feel that it is only becoming worse. Also, you really could not care less. You may talk to each other less and less. And you may find yourself telling him very little about what goes on in your life. The point is without effort to communicate or to be together, the relationship is as good as over.
You are happy when he cancels
You do not mind when your significant other cancels your plans together. You actually breathe a sigh of relief because now you can catch up on some series in peace. Alone time is necessary in all relationships, however, if you are not even a little disappointed that you cannot be with him tonight or any other night you should probably end it. You may find yourself growing a little more irritable in his presence. You used to love the way he laughs, but now you think that it is just stupid. And the way that he just sits there with his arms like that. Argh! Being with your loved one should not feel like torture or an obligation. It should be a happy and enjoyable part of your day that you can look forward to.
You find yourself thinking about other guys
It is okay to fantasise about Ryan Gosling every once in a while. Come on ladies we all do it. But if you keep imagining how life could be with other people it may be rooted in deeper issues of unhappiness. Maybe your relationship is not meeting your needs or you are simply falling out of love. You should end it before these thoughts turn into actions. You might also not see your significant other in your future anymore. You two used to talk about how life will turn out together, but lately all your future plans are based on you alone.
He is mean to you
Your significant other may start treating you badly or saying hurtful things to you. You should not tolerate this kind of treatment from anyone let alone your significant other. This is a toxic situation. So, it is a definite sign that the relationship is over. This is also true if he tries to control you. It may not be obvious at first but if he excessively influences what you do, wear or who you can hang out with, then it’s time to hit the road. Controlling behaviour can escalate into full on abusive behaviour, and you just do not need that in your life.
Your gut says so
You just feel like it is over in your heart, in your bones, right down to the soles of your feet. This usually coincides with suspicious or odd behaviour. So, if you have thoughts of doubt, really examine what it is that is making you think this way. If you notice this feeling along with other signs then it is probably time to let go. Sometimes it could just be that your significant other just is not the right person for you. You two may make a good match on paper but there may just be something missing in the relationship. You need to find your own happiness, and if that means leaving a situation that makes you uneasy, so be it.
There are only a few things that are as bad as feeling alone and unhappy in a relationship. It can be difficult to recognise when a relationship is over. We all deserve to be happy, even if it means getting over a failing situation in order to see the light on the other side.
Written by Noma Mtebele