For some people a break up comes as a great shock. You were blissfully happy and now your sweetie drops this bomb on you – out of the blue. The truth is that most people draw towards a break up slowly, it is not something suddenly realised over coffee one morning. What may seem like a bomb has in fact been building up over time, manifested in little signs. Be aware of these 5 signs that your relationship is over. It might give you enough time to save it.
Related article: How to Know if You’re in a Toxic Relationship
1. You no longer talk about trivialities
It is the small things that in fact make up life. Your holiday together last summer is a great memory, but it is not what life is actually about. It may be time for some changes when you no longer feel like including him in your daily life. If he barely shrugs when asked how his day was, then you know that he is not really interested in sharing it with you. It is so easy to forget what life is actually about; the recalling over breakfast of what you dreamt at night, the random questions of what you had for lunch earlier. These trivialities seem so insignificant when they are present, but you will surely notice their absence.
2. You abandon your rituals
All couples keep rituals they might not be fully aware of. Like cooking dinner together or binge watching your favorite show. There can be many or few rituals, but nevertheless equally important. Even though you really want to see the next episode of your show, you will wait for him to join you to spare him the disappointment. Going for your evening walks might be a minor habit, but it is in fact a bond between the two of you. It is a part of your special time together and that is certainly important to maintain your relationship.
3. You avoid talking about sex
To enjoy your sex life is important for a healthy relationship. A couple could have sex just a few times a month and still be exceptionally happy and intimate. While other couples go at it several times a week, but feel like a great distance is growing between them. Quality wins over quantity when it comes to being intimate with your partner. Going into defense mode when he wants to talk about your sex life is not going to improve it. And trying to ignore the whole conversation will do the complete opposite. If you no longer feel like experimenting with each other or have fun in the bedroom, then the fat lady could already be singing.
4. The future is never mentioned
This one is no joke; a reluctance of talking about the future is a big warning sign. You no longer make plans together with excitement, and he can barely answer on what to do next weekend. It is like the will to live has left your relationship. Perhaps you always wanted children, but now just seem like such a bad time. If not because of your work or finances – then it might be because of the two of you. It could help to ask some direct questions about the future, if only to know if you will are still together in it.
5. You live separate lives
Once upon a time he could not wait to see you. This passion will fade slightly over time and it is normal. What is not normal however, is if you feel happier alone than when you are with him. Perhaps you start to notice that he is no longer including you in his plans. It is as if he has another life where he is happier, while you are left with the rest of him. He has most likely been unhappy with you for a while, and is now starting to pull away. A happy couple will want to spend time together – if you don’t want to, then your relationship could be over.
Some relationships are meant to last while others are not. To keep oneself in a relationship out of fear of being alone is common, but not healthy. Either work on your relationship or let it go, as long as you make the decision that will bring the most happiness. These 5 signs that your relationship is over might pinpoint you in the right direction.
Writtne by Marte Klausen