Men in general are both complex and simple, making it hard to understand them at times. So here are 5 things that you may not have known about South African men.
He’s not always up to it
South African men have less sex than men in other countries. A recent survey conducted by Pharma Dynamics revealed that 22% of South African men have sex less than three times a month, and 16% are in a sexless relationship. Meaning that they have sex 52 times a year while their global counterparts have it 104 times a year.
The reason? The survey revealed that it might be due to the distractions of social media, increasing work pressure, and the troubled economy, which means that when South African men are worried about money and their jobs, they aren’t generally in the mood for sex. Feeling this way is a somewhat understandable and relatable reason to not be in the mood, despite the fact that sex is important for consistency and balance in a relationship. If sex is important to you, when dating a South African man, you’ll have to make a few sacrifices.
Not being in the mood for sex doesn’t, however, mean that you can’t experience other forms of intimacy with your partner. South African dating culture is about much more than physical pleasure. Talk to your partner to determine romantic activities you both have an interest in. Bonus points if it also doubles as a stress reliever!
One example of experiencing intimacy together could be to cook dinner together and have a nice date night at home. This will help to relieve tension since you’ll be able to talk about the various things you have going on in your lives and work towards finding solutions to alleviate your stressors together.
Starving for Compliments
Women are often judged on their looks, but what about men? As a societal norm, men are judged or given value by their careers and successes, not their looks. So, we often find that men are starving for compliments. What this means is that men aren’t often complimented on their looks or even told that they are attractive.
You wouldn’t think it, but they actually worry about their looks, and sometimes they need some reassurance. So, a little well-intended objectification will go a long way to rectifying this. Not only will this help to boost his self-esteem, but you’ll also be showing him that you value him for more than just his hobbies, work interests, and sense of humor! Dating a South African man isn’t just a one-way street. You’ll need to make sure he feels loved and accepted in your relationship. After all, balance is vital. South African dating culture is about more than just looking good in your social media posts (and yes you should compliment him in those pictures too!). It’s also about reassuring your partner so that he feels seen and valued. Even though complimenting his looks isn’t something you may typically think to do, it’s essential that you prioritize it if it helps him feel more confident in who he is as a person.
Next time your man walks out of the house in his favorite rugby shirt, why not compliment him on it by telling him that it makes him look sexy?
He watches Porn
Once you’re in a stable relationship, you’ll need to come to terms with the fact that your guy watches porn. Watching porn applies to most men, even South Africans. So, don’t be surprised by what you find when you’re browsing through his internet history. Yes, this probably isn’t something you were hoping to hear when you asked, “What is South African guys like?” but it is something you’ll have to accept. And even though it may be confusing for you, considering that our first little known fact was that South African guys are less likely to be ‘in the mood’ than other men, sometimes it’s better just to take these things in stride and keep moving.
Once you’ve realized that this is a common habit of men around the world—not, just your boyfriend—you can spend more time thinking about what this habit means in terms of your relationship. You may be uncomfortable, and that’s okay. Tell him how you feel and discuss ways that you can compromise (ex: only when you’re at work or out with friends). Talking openly about porn isn’t a common characteristic in South African dating culture, so you should also consider the fact that it’s something he isn’t comfortable talking about it either.
If it’s something that he considers private or that his not comfortable discussing, don’t push him. The more comfortable you get with him, the more he may reveal what he watches if you want to know.
He checks out other women
Men are very visual, so when a bikini babe walks past when you’re on the beach, he’ll probably check her out. This behavior doesn’t mean that he’s going to make a move or that he’s not happy in his current relationship with you. This type of conduct is probably another thing you didn’t want to hear when you asked about dating a South African man. For many women, this is even more difficult than dealing with a porn habit—at least a porn habit is digital instead of in person. And as frustrating as it can be to see him do it, you should also keep in mind that he probably isn’t thinking about his actions when he looks at another woman.
The somewhat harsh reality is that he’s been looking at women for a long time—likely considerably longer than the time he’s known you. It won’t be easy for him to break this habit, and it’s not something he does to offend you.
It’s just that men get a chemical high when they see an attractive woman. So, don’t stress every time a hot woman walks past when you’re on a beach. If he doesn’t act on it, then he’s happy with what he’s got.
He can be emotional too
Despite their macho bravado men can at times be emotional too. Sure they may be better at supressing it, but when they get shot down after asking you out they get just as hurt. So if they tell you they like you, it took every ounce of courage for them to say it. So make sure to show that you’re grateful for the compliments and to turn them down easy.
There you have it, a few things that you didn’t know about South African men that you can use to help you understand them more.