When we were little girls our parents used to read us fairytales and tell us how they all lived happily ever after, but no one ever answered our questions as to what happened after the book ended. We are going to try and answer some of the questions about love that the stories failed to tell us.
Related Article: Principles of Keeping Love Alive
1. Is there a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
To be in love means to want this person, to have your emotions constantly on high, to think that you care about that person and to be able to fall out of love with that person. To love means to need this person, to have your emotions settle and not rush to reach the finish line, to care totally about that person, and to never really stop loving that person.
2. Is it possible to stop loving someone that doesn’t love you back?
It is awful to feel so emotionally invested in something that only exists in your mind. It is difficult to get over and come to grips with, but like a lot of things in life, it takes time. Acknowledge how you are feeling, refocus yourself, think about your future, and maintain your social contacts, cut off all contact with the person you love if necessary, seek medical and professional help if necessary, and exercise patience with yourself.
3. Can you love others and be loved if you don’t love yourself?
Of course it can help to love yourself first, but love is something that we learn. As we receive love, we learn that we are lovable and as we love others, we then learn to love ourselves. Loving someone else and being loved in return can help you realise your own self worth. Don’t let love be a prerequisite for loving another, but rather a result.
4. Will I ever love someone quite the way I did the first time?
Your first love is difficult to forget because it was your first experience of intense and passionate emotions that you thought would last forever, the first time you truly loved and felt loved by someone that wasn’t a family member. Your first real break up is terrible, but you can fall in love again. Your first love will always hold a special place in your heart, there is just something about that bond that cannot be compared to anything else.
5. Should I be embarrassed if I’ve never been in love before?
You may want or crave love, but you may also be scared of it. Maybe you’re scared of losing yourself or becoming distracted in the process of falling in love. When you stop looking for a relationship, you allow yourself to discover who you really are and find out what you want and need out of life and a partner. You will know the answer and when it is time you will know.
6. Will I survive if someone that I love betrays me?
You never see betrayal coming until it happens and it hurts you. You can and you will survive, as difficult as it may seem now. You can get over him, just take control of your emotions, stay calm, resist the urge to beg and plead your position, walk away from them, do nothing and give them no resistance, let go and let the universe take care of it, and be sure to learn from this lesson.
Love is so controversial and we still have so many unanswered questions. We wish you the kind of love that awakens the soul and makes you reach for more. Good luck!
Written by Sarah Kantor