You may not know it, but you could be doing something wrong in terms of your socializing skills. Some people struggle more with socializing then others, but there are some useful guidelines out there. Follow these 7 Tips to up your social skills.
Related article: Skills to help you listen better
1. Stop the texting habit
It may be tempting to check your phone every time you receive a text, or just checking your phone in general, but this is the biggest social-skill you can commit. Spending more time tweeting, texting and following people on your phone can give the impression that you’re not interested in the people around you. Not everyone likes texting, so the chances that they would enjoy watching you text is quite slim. Put off your phone when having coffee with a friend or going out to the movies. The person would definitely appreciate the one-on-one time.
2. Focus on others around you
It does not make you selfish or rude if you concentrate on yourself and want to express your feelings towards others. You just have to know when to speak. Try not to be the person that babbles on and on about themselves or just waits for the next person to finish their sentence so that they can start a new one. Focus on the people outside your personal bubble – not on yourself.
3. Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions provoke a longer answer and would keep the conversation flowing, for example questions starting with why, what, who, etc. Asking “why are you on a diet?” in comparison to “are you on a diet?” is a better option. People will feel like you care about them and that you are interested in what is going on in their lives. Let’s face it, everyone wants to feel important.
4. Be a good listener
Want to up your good social skills? Listen to the words that are coming out of the next person’s mouth. Being a good listener actually means that you should be listening. People don’t like it when they are not listened to – it makes them feel disrespected and unimportant. Try and keep eye contact, don’t talk too much but give an occasional reply or nod and most importantly, show emotion. People want to generate a reaction when telling you something.
5. Keep a positive attitude
Everyone dislikes negativity. Constantly bringing up negative thoughts and feelings might scare of the people you’re trying to attract. Try and keep the personal drama for your close friends. Stick to topics that will keep a good conversation flowing. Avoid talking about yourself if that helps; what is your attitude towards life?
6. Interact with people that share your interests
It is no use communicating with people that you share no interests with. At some point you will ask what you are doing there in the first place. Interacting with people that share your interests and likes secures a long relationship; you will always have something to talk about and your time together will not feel pretentious.
7. Don’t cancel on the last minute
Unless it’s business or a life or death situation, you should never cancel on the last minute. If you said yes to meet someone on a certain time and place then you should show up. People dislike unreliability. Most of the time people will think that you are lying and just wanted to get out of the dinner plans with them.
So whether you’re a social butterfly or wallflower, following these simple tips can up your social skills and change your life.
Written by Shannique Hodman