Home Lifestyle Relationship Corner Getting back on your feet & falling in love again after a break-up

Getting back on your feet & falling in love again after a break-up

Something to think about before diving in again. Not all break ups hurt. but the ones that hurt can hurt bad. You don’t have to fall in love immediately after a break up, but you need to accept the end.

If you’re suffering from a painful heartbreak, it can be a small comfort to know that you had the chance to experience love at its purest and best, even if it didn’t last as long as you wanted it to. Knowing how to fall in love again doesn’t ever mean you should just jump from one relationship to another.


But by preparing yourself for love, it shows that you haven’t given up on finding it again. A relationship can end when you least expect it, but that’s no reason to hate love or believe it doesn’t exist. Don’t convince yourself never to fall in love again. You’re not hardening yourself up. You’re only clinging on to a memory of love that you once experienced. And the worst part here, it didn’t end well for you. So give love another chance to reveal itself when the time comes.


Firstly, be aware of attracting rescuers while you are healing

Be wary of attracting rescuers during your time of healing. Rescuers are people, both men and women, who NEED to be NEEDED. This person rescues even when they don’t really want to. They have strong feelings of guilt if they don’t rescue the victim. The relationship between the victim and the rescuer can be one of co-dependency. The rescuer keeps the victim dependent on them by playing into their victimhood. The victim keeps their needs met by having the rescuer take care of them.

The men you meet while you are in a compromised state may well be attracted to your vulnerability and that part of you that is needy and wanting to be comforted and cared for.  Common phrases rescuers use include: “Let me help you”, “Look how hard I’ve tried”, “I’m only trying to help you” “ I will sort this out, you are not capable of doing it on your own”. While this might sound like something you need to hear. Run, run far away.

Always remember your old relationship was an experience

If you want to know how to fall in love again, you can’t shut out the memories of your old relationship. Instead, learn from it and use it as an experience to make yourself a better chooser of partners.

Always understand that you may have experienced a bad relationship and everyone around you may have terrible relationship stories too, but that doesn’t mean love is a bad thing. Perhaps, you’re surrounded by an unlucky few who aren’t looking in the right places.


It’s alright to remember your ex sometimes

When you’re walking out of a bad breakup and trying to fall in love again, it’s obvious that you’d be bothered by the memories of your past. At times, you may also be specifically looking for someone who reminds you of your ex, just so you can feel complete again.

Don’t remember your ex for all the wrong reasons. Remember your ex for the fact that they caused you more pain than you could bear, and you’re still trying to erase that memory and trying to replace it with new and happier memories. As long as you stay firm on your decision to never get back into that painful relationship, you will have the strength to avoid any let’s-get-back-together requests from your old flame.

Get back on your feet

Go on out and meet old friends and make new friends. The best way to get over a break up and prepare yourself to fall in love again is by learning to bring the excitement back into your life. Once you see all the nice, attractive people who are eager to be with you, you’d have a lot of happy thoughts replacing the sad thoughts in no time. Don’t feel guilty about dusting yourself off and getting back on your feet as soon as you can. It helps you understand that the world can still be a happy place, even if you’re heartbroken.

Get back into the dating game

Everyone likes a bit of attention from the opposite sex. You may not be looking for love immediately after a break up, but you would definitely want to fall in love again sometime, wouldn’t you?

When you were in a relationship, you couldn’t really flirt with anyone without thinking twice. But hey, now you can. You don’t need to look desperately for “the one” right from the start. Have fun dating new people and getting touchy feely with a few others. That special one will walk right into your life when you’re having the best time of your life, and make it a lot better.

Take that leap of faith

While you’re out there, ready to fall in love and having a great time meeting new people, you may just come across someone who sweeps you off your feet or makes time stand still. It may be a chance meeting or a fixed date, but when you do meet that person who makes you feel special and cared for all over again, make an effort to test the waters, now that you know how to fall in love again after a break up.

It may take a while or it may happen sooner than you think, but as long as you’re having a great life anyways, who’s complaining?

Take a leap of faith and take that chance on true love when you feel like you’ve met the one you’ve been looking for. After all, isn’t that what love is all about, taking chances?!


The key aspects to creating a successful future relationship post a break-up or divorce is to ensure you are fulfilled as a woman first.  Rather relax and focus first on healing and being happy within yourself before you start to focus on finding THE ONE.  You’ll often hear men say to one another “the best way to get over a girlfriend is to get on top of another one”.  That so-called ‘logic’ doesn’t work for either of the sexes.

So take the trip you always wanted to take. Develop your own interests and pursuits. You have just spent the past however many months or years focussed on being in a relationship. This is now YOUR time to live your life. Enjoy it. Savour it.

It’s often when you stop worrying about finding a new partner that serendipity steps in and things start falling into place. If you are enjoying life again and looking after yourself – mind, body and soul – you are bound to make an impact and attract attention.

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