During one time or another, some of us have been in a toxic relationship. They aren’t always easy to get out of as we can get stuck in the past trying to relive the good times or be in denial about how bad things are.
This can make it hard to tell how toxic it’s gotten, so here are some tips to help you tell if your relationship is a healthy one.
Anger issues and outbursts
Having anger management issues and regular outbursts can be an early warning signal for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship. Don’t fret, it’s natural for you to have an occasional argument with your partner but if you’re constantly at each other’s throats then that’s not a good sign.
If you’re in a relationship that thrives on hurting one other then it can cause low self-esteem and depression. So keep an eye out for constant swearing, physical outbursts (like slamming a door or throwing things) and demeaning insults as it can signify anger issues and bad self-control. If you notice any of these you need to stop this behaviour before the toxicity levels get too high.
You’re unable to be yourself
If the person you are with is always trying to change you, it can start to drain away your energy, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem. For example, if you’re an outgoing person, he’ll try to change that because he gets jealous every time you are having a conversation with someone else.
So, are you free to speak your mind? Are you comfortable around him? Is your self-confidence fading? Do you feel insecure? Questioning your worth? If the answer to these is a yes, then it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship. If you keep hiding your opinion and changing the things you like, you might not be able to recognize yourself anymore.
He’s always putting you down
Teasing and bantering is great in a good relationship, but if your partner is always criticizing you and putting you down to the point that you are stressed, hurt and tense, then you may just be in a toxic relationship.
You wouldn’t think it, but many women stay in these kinds of emotionally abusive relationships because they have been convinced that they don’t deserve better or won’t be loved by anyone else. Keep an eye out for your partner saying negative things about your family and friends as their criticism may not always be about you.
He tries to control you
It can be sweet if your partner orders your favourite dish at a restaurant. But if they always want to make the decisions for you and have to have things their way or else he get angry and upset, then that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. Even if you enjoy having decisions made for you, this kind of relationship quickly turns toxic as soon as you find something you’re passionate or confident about that your partner dislikes.
A healthy relationship requires that you equally support each other’s autonomy, decision making, interests and passions. Even if they don’t always agree with you, they should share their preferences and concerns instead of pushing theirs on you.
It’s not always easy being able to spot if you’re in a toxic relationship, so why not use these tips to make sure that the one you’re in now doesn’t have any of the tell-tale signs.