Home Lifestyle Relationship Corner Now that I’ve found ME, I can learn to love you…

Now that I’ve found ME, I can learn to love you…


Relationships are a fundamental part of personal development as after loving yourself, only then can you learn to love another.

Relationships are a partnership between two people and both parties have equal rights in the partnership. This simply means that both parties need to give a 100% effort into the relationship to reap the rewards of happiness. The truth is that most relations fail because both parties stop doing what they did to pursue the other.

Women are known to get very comfortable in a relationship. Though being comfortable around your significant other is fundamental for a relationship to work, it can also cause the immediate relapse of a relationship. Both parties stop making an effort to look good and then the forgetting of birthdays and anniversaries start slowly. There is no recipe to the perfect relationship as there is no such thing as the perfect relationship. The key is finding someone and doing the best you can to be perfect for each other. Do not try and change your partner but accept them as they are and love them. Do not compromise yourself but always reach a compromise with each other.

Most relationships end when partners start comparing each other to previous relationships that did not work. Some times this is not done intentionally and it usually happens when one has “unfinished business” from the previous relationship. Your partner will at times find that they have to pay for the mistakes of your past relationships.

This is why it is important to get over a past relationship before moving on to the next one because you only end up hurting your new partner with your past relationship baggage.

Love your partner but most of all do not suffocate them. Remember that you are two individuals in a relationship and it is important to embrace each other’s individuality and not dominate the relationship. Also be careful of not losing yourself in the relationship so much that you can no longer identify with yourself.

Putting yourself first is not always selfish but you cannot claim to love another when you do not know how to love yourself. When you love yourself and know yourself then you have more of yourself to share with your partner. Do not play the “blame game” because in a relationship it ‘takes two to tango’, so take some responsibility.

Do not despair when you both hit rock bottom but always talk and work things out. Avoid advice from friends who don’t even approve of your relationship as they will just make toxic of your relationship. This is between the two of you therefore a third party is a distraction. Respect your partner and his privacy. Do not invade his personal space as this will affect how you love him and it will break the trust that you have built with each other.

Remember, it’s the little things that count like simply paying attention and observing your partner and paying each other a compliment every now and then. Helping each other with the cooking and washing dishes often ends up a rather fun activity when done together.

Be friends, have fun and make memories to treasure even when times are not so great. Always make time for each other as that is the greatest gift you can give to anybody. Do not come into a relationship with expectations but rather with an open mind and an open heart ready to learn and experience every moment for what it is.

Relationships are about respect, communicating, sharing, sacrificing, supporting.

Sinesipho Mbandazayo

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