We all have ideas of a perfect, happy family, with mom, dad and baby, yet more and more mothers are finding themselves as single parents.
This doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t have a family for your child. A family is not set in stone. As long as the best interests of your child at heart, and you find the right support, you can successfully manage as a single mom, and create your own family.
Either you were left during the pregnancy or you were left after your baby was born. In both situations you are in a sensitive space, and this can be very traumatic.
Whatever your situation, it is really hard to focus on the joys of carrying a child or being a mother when the rest of your world may seem to be falling apart. But you need to look at the bigger picture. Cry, scream, get over it, but don’t dwell on these emotions, because you have a little one who needs all your positivity and love. Our babies feel our emotions, and as much as you could want to break down, you have to be strong for the sake of your child.
Top 5 tips to managing being a single mom:
1. Find a support group
We suggest checking out your local church. Even if you are not religious, there are other moms out there who share their experiences, and so can you. It helps to be able to relate to other people going through a similar situation. You are not alone. If you are not confident enough, try a psychologist/family councillor.
2. Lean on friends and family
It is really hard waking up every two to three hours to feed baby. Get your baby’s grandparents to help, or your siblings/friends. You can work out a schedule where you take it in shifts. If you are breastfeeding, express some milk into a bottle for them to use while you sleep. You will be grateful to have an extra hour of sleep, while granny bottle feeds your baby.
3. Father of the child
If the father wishes to see the child, you should schedule times of day that he can visit the baby. It needs to suit all parties. It may be hard for you to get over him and move on, but it is essential for your baby to bond with both parents, even if you weren’t married. Unmarried father’s rights have increased over the years, if they contribute and make an effort to see the child. Be civil.
4. Focus on your child
Because that is what will be the most rewarding thing for you in this difficult time. Your baby needs you, and for you to be strong. You will be so busy with your newborn, that you won’t even have time to think about a relationship. As your baby grows from your care and love, you will be content and happy with the work that you have done to raise him. The reward is a happy, healthy child. Nothing more, nothing less.
5. Take a deep breath!
You will find love, you will be a complete family. Even if it wasn’t the family you first had eyes on. Some times it’s better to have two separate homes, where there is no drama, than being stuck in one family who never stops fighting. Remember the bigger picture…The happiness of your child.
The road to being a single mom is not easy, you will slip, you will fall, but what matters is how quickly you get back up. The key is to never give up, and to focus on your baby’s wellbeing. You can do this! Many women are doing it as you read this article. Enjoy your child and all the moments you will share, as they really do grow up so fast. Don’t waste another minute on the hurt or anger. Spend that minute admiring the beautiful creation in front of you.