Home Family Toddlers and Children Ways to Avoid Favouritism between Your Children

Ways to Avoid Favouritism between Your Children


Favouritism between your children is inevitable, forgive yourself and move on. When you have to two or more children, there is that one child you will favour more than the others.

In most cases it is usually the first born child merely for simple fact that is where your journey of motherhood began.

The very first feelings of joy, fear, wonder, unconditional love and your job as a caregiver begins with your first child.

Another reason that the first child might be a clear favourite is the fact that a second child might be born a long while after the first child. For this reason alone, the first child has had all the attention and has gotten used to being an only child.

When a second baby comes into the scene, one of either two things can happen:
1. The parents (mom especially) can bond with the new-born baby so much so that the second child will feel neglected or even unloved.

2. The other thing that can happen is that the parents (again mom) can have a difficult time bonding with the new-born baby out of fear of neglecting the first child or preferring the first child more because of familiarity.

Either way, it is important to learn as a parent, the importance of being fair to both or all your children.

Your children will never be the same. They will all have different personalities and one might be the smart one, the good one or the happier child then the other, but it is your job as a parent to treat them all the same and give them each the attention they need.

A child that is loved equally and treated the same way as his/her siblings will thrive under the attention and they will develop well.

Favouritism has its effects
Some parents may not even be aware of the fact that they favour one child over the other or it might be intentional (for those cruel parents out there), but a child who is aware that his or her parents favour their siblings will suffer from the effects of favouritism .   http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissus-in-all-us/200901/when-parents-play-favorites

In some cases, the child might be a bully, suffer from depression and aggravation among other things.

Your child has to be able to know how they can express themselves without any fear and you have to have ready answers for them when they want to know why you prefer their sibling over them.

Parenting is a learning curve for all parents and you will make mistakes but you also have to be fair to your children as well.

If you are aware that you have a favourite, mask it in a way that the other children will not even notice, this will make for a happy household.

Thembakazi Mbobela

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